


Home is where you are

by ManyFandomsToHandle



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddles, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Mutual Pining, hannah is a ghost, tony and clay are oblivious af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:50:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManyFandomsToHandle/pseuds/ManyFandomsToHandle
Summary: After watching Tony and Clay's mutual pinning she decides she is not having any of it any longer.orIn which Hannah Baker helps Tony and Clay get together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After watching 13rw I adored Clay and Tony's relationship, however there are not enough clony fics so there you go. This is not only my first attempt at a clony fic but at a fic alone as well so pls go easy on me.

Clay Jensen wasn't stupid, he might be the most oblivious boy he had ever met, but he definitely wasn't that blind. Tony liked to think of himself as a very mature person. He always knew what was happening to those around him before they even did and all of his emotions were controlled, so it didn't make any sense when that one afternoon he felt like dying. 

Tony could still feel all his terror and remember his exact thoughts. As he waited for his best friend he got lost in the past memories of that horrible night.

That afternoon in the cliff had made Tony realised things, certain stuff he had so desperately tried to bury in the back of his head, however they remained there, he knew his own feeling for the brunette and refusing to acknowledge them didn't meant they would just slip away.

Watching from the sideline as Clay had tried to jump of the cliff had made his heart beat like crazy and imagine all the thing they hadn't had a chance to do yet, but he desperately wanted to.  
He wanted to kiss him, so sweet and hard they would both forget their own names. He wanted to hug him, so lovingly Clay would let go all of his problems; but most importantly he wanted to be right beside him, no matter how long it take for him to heal his opens wounds, hell, even if he didn't heal he wanted to be with him all the time. This boy hadn't even tried but he was already more deep inside his heart than Brad or any other boyfriend ever could. 

So 6 months later Tony found himself without Brad, but with more love than he had ever felt for Clay. They were still trying to work things out. He still called Tony sometimes when he had a nightmare. Sometimes he would come over to Clays, or sometimes when the guilt of not stopping Hannah got the worst of Tony Clay would just know exactly what to do to calm his unhelpful Yoda. Anyway they just made each other's life a little bit better and a little bit sweeter.

Tony had come to the conclusion that saying his feeling out loud would only make things worst. He didn't wanted to ruin what they already had together; so that's exactly what he did. He buried his feelings once again and shut them down, so deep into his heart it ache to think of what could be more never would. However he managed to hide this part of him just for the sake of their friendship. And that is how he find himself waiting outside of Clay's house, ready to pick up the boy and take him to school.

He came back into reality just when he heard Clay say “Hey Yoda are you okay? Seems like you're still sleeping” as he climbed to the seat next to his.

“Never been better” Tony said as he buckled his seatbelt and started playing one of his famous tapes.

“So like what's up with this goo mood of yours? You`re never this happy in the mornings.” Clay pointed out with a grin in his face. It was very usual for Tony to have the worst face when he picked up Clay, which had became some sort of routine for both of them. He would only start to really wake up after his second class. 

“Can't I just be in a happy mood because I'm with my favorite boy?” Tony asked, not wanting to leave his eyes from the road to avoid watching Clay's reaction.

“Of course you can, it's just unTony like” Clay said, ignoring the way his cheeks heated up at the mention of being Tony`s favorite boy. 

Clay had started to feel this way some weeks ago now. He would feel his cheeks heat up at any regular thing Tony would do. He had tried to avoid reading too much into the way his heart would race up when his friend opened doors for him, but it really became a problem when he couldn't do his homework at Tony's without failing to concentrate due to the lack of clothing the latino had on when working on his car. 

Clay couldn't stop thinking how he felt pretty much the same anytime Hannah would touch his hair and make sarcastic but nice comments about his helmet. It just didn't make any sense how he could feel the same way for two completely different people. Well, maybe not that different. They were both loyal, caring, loving, passionate and had a deep love for Clay, even if this last one didn't knew.

Before either of them could realise it they were already at the school's parking lot, ready to face another day. Just as Tony was about to park his red Mustang he stopped the car in the middle of the road, surprised as to what, (or whom) stand in front of him. 

"Mierda" Tony muttered as he realised what was riht in front of him

“Tony are you alright man? It's seems like you saw a ghost” Clay said as he grabbed his backpack and closed the door car behind him.. 

“I'm just fine” Tony said, although he didn't feel fine at all, because right in front of him there she was, smiling at him like she had done so many times before. 

“There is no need to stop the car Tony, we both know that won't make any harm to me, although it might to all the people waiting to get to the parking lot behind you” Hannah Baker said with a smirk on her face, as she disappeared right in front of him, leaving Tony to believe he was even crazier than he had imagined, although this time it wasn't about Clay, or so he thought.


	2. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannah explains why is she following Tony around. sort of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im here with a new chapter and oh boy it is longer than last one. Hope you guys enjoy it.

The sound of the honking behind Tony woke him up from the trance the vision of Hannah had just left him in. He let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding back, and finally parked the red mustang before going inside the school. 

 

He had barely crossed the entrance when the bell rang, telling him that not only has he late for his first class, but he had also missed the daily meetup he had with Clay and Skye at the boy’s locker. It had started after Clay decided to suddenly be friends with Skye again. As much as Tony liked the idea of Clay making new (or taking back old) friends, it also bothered him that Clay was most likely doing it because of the hero complex he was left with when Hannah had died. Since then he was extra nice to everyone, some might think it was some sort of good lesson the girl's suicide had left him with, but Tony could see right through Clay. He knew how much the younger boy was suffering, desperate to avoid another scar in his heart. The boy couldn take it anymore, so he went out of his way to make everyone feel loved and included, while he was still aching and in pain himself. 

 

Tony maked his way to biology class, his first class in the morning, while still lost on his thoughts. In fact he was so deep into his mind he didn't noticed that the sit at his left, which was usually empty, was already taken; nor did he noticed this girl with short curly hairs and bright blue eyes had a very familiar face. 

 

“Well Tony I knew you had bad mood in the morning, I just didn't think it would be bad enough for you to ignore me” Hannah said, as the latino turned to see her in complete disbelief.

 

_ This is it, I've gone completely nuts  _ Tony thought as he looked at the girl’s face. She hadn't changed one single bit.  _ Of course she hasn't you complete moron! She is dead! You are just imagining her. _ However this thought didn't help make the boy any less preoccupied or relaxed. 

 

“I can practically hear the engines working inside your brain Tony” the girl said as she left out a soft laugh. “Ignoring me is not going to make me leave”

 

Tony couldn't believe what was happening in front of him. He looked around the room, searching for someone to be just as amazed and shook as he was, ut everyone was already focused in the lecture, leaving him to be the only one who had no idea what was going on. 

 

“How are you eve-”

 

“Mr. Padilla, may I continue with my lecture or are you going to keep staring at the wall? Or even better, start talking to it as well” Mrs Johnson said, his biology teacher, giving him both a concerned and exasperated look. There were some laughs and murmurs in the room, soon ended by a quick glance from their professor. 

 

“I'm sorry, please go on” Tony said as he opened his book and tried to focus as well, trying his best to completely ignore the girl beside him. 

 

After what felt like hours he bio class had finally finished, however the person at his left had not disappeared like he hope she would. At least she had stayed quiet during the lecture, but as he headed towards his next class he realised she was following him as well. In his way through the halls he got intercepted by a pair of soft hands and beautiful eyes. It wasn't long after he realised it was Clay who had dragged him there. 

 

“Hey man, feeling any better?” Clay asked, with a light tone of worriedness he was trying to hide behind a carefree smile.

 

“Well this should be fun” Hannah said as she took a quick glance to the boy in front of them. “It seems to me like Clay is worried about you Tony, why don't you tell him what's going on?”

 

Tony tried his best to ignore the comments beside him and focus on the boy ahead. “Yeah, I'm feeling much better, I was just a little down in the morning, that's all”

 

“Well lets hope you get better for tonight” Clay said as he headed to his next class, leaving Tony with a  nice feeling in his chest due to the concern of Clay on him and a very intrigued Hannah.

 

“Tonight hmm? So what is exactly are we doing tonight?” Hannah asked, with an amused expression on her face.

 

“WE are doing nothing” Tony said sarcastically, pointing out the _ we  _ “However Clay and I have planned to watch some weird zombie movie he’s been expecting to come out for months. 

 

“Oh dear lord! He speaks” Hannah said, humoring her voice. “I thought you were going to keep ignoring me!”

 

“Sounds like a date at the Crestmont” Hannah said ignoring the comment by the tanned boy. “Who knew Tony was such a lucky guy, not only do you get free tickets but also to snuggle next to the lovely Clay”

 

“First of all we don't get free tickets anymore” Clay hadn't been able to keep working at the Crestmont after Hannah’s suicides, they barely even visited the place anymore, they would always go to the only other cinema in town “ And second of all Skye is coming with us as well” Tony said with an irritated voice. The possibility of snuggling next to Clay in the movies had not come to his mind before Hannah mentioned it, and now he couldn't help but feel mad at the idea of Skye crashing their date.. He could imagine protecting his boy when he was afraid, they would be so close he could probably smell the apple shampoo he's been using since elementary school. _ Except this isn't a date _ , a small voice n the inside of his head said. 

 

“The fact that it isn't a date doesn't change that you kinda wish it was”

 

That was it. That had been enough. Tony had had enough. He started to rush towards the restroom, ignoring the bell’s ring and his classmates heading towards the classroom. Once he  was finally in the restroom he made sure he was alone and locked the entrance.

“Okay Hannah this is it, enough!” Tony said as he felt like losing his temper “I don't know why you are here, what do you want or how did you even find me, but this ain't no fun! I need you to tell me why are you here?! Is this some sort of ghost crap? Are you here to haunt me ‘cause I couldn't save you?” This last phrase escaped the boy's lips before collapsing into the floor. 

 

The tears started to leave the brown eyed boy, as he cried alone in the restroom floor. “I haunt myself everyday Hanna, I don't need you to tell me how much I fucked up last time” He said as he stared into the blue eyed girl. “To know that if I had stopped you that night to talk then you might still be here haunts me everyday, and it will continue to tear me apart for the rest of my life. De verdad lo siento Hannah”

 

As Tony speaked Hannah sat down next to him, trying to comfort him. “Tony that is not why I’m here” she said, as she tried to make the boy’s eyes to look at her “I’ve never blamed you for what I did. Everyone could have done something different, but not you Tony. You were always there for me, even after my death”

 

Hannah continued speaking as she felt the boy hugging her, crying into her shoulder.“The reason I’m here is exactly the opposite”

 

As this words leaved the girls mouth Tony looked up, trying to find meaning to them. “ What do you mean? The opposite?”

 

“I can tell the others have healed. None of you will be able to forget, what each one did and did not do to me, however many of you have healed.” Hannah said with a quick sigh “ Bryce got what he deserved, he is finally in jail, allowing Jessica to heal and find as much peace as you can have for what she went through” 

 

It was true. All of the other people who belonged to the list had somehow managed to heal and move on. Justin was nowhere to be seen, however the last thing they knew about him is that he confessed to covering Bryce. Sheri confessed and got community work to pay for her mistakes . Alex was no longer trying to impress anybody, after recovering from the gunshot he discovered that he could deal with his guilt in a better way and started working at a local suicide hotline. Tyler was no longer the creep he usually was and although Ryan was till sort of an asshole, at least he respected other slightly more. Marcus, Courtney and Mr Potter had left the school, but everyone knew the truth about them. Mr Potter however did try to learn better to deal with this type of situations and help those who needed it. And finally Zach decided to focus on biology and be the best version of himself, no longer ruled by his “ashole jock” image. And Clay, well, he was just Clay.

 

Tony however didn't quite understand what was Hannah doing here if what she wanted was for them to heal.

 

“The only person who seems unable to move on is Clay” Hannah said as a tear escaped her eyes. “It breaks my heart to know that I did this to him. I know he still gets the nightmares.”

 

Tony sigheed. He knew the boy’s heart was still aching for his first love, however he didn't knew how deep the pain was. 

 

“So if you want to help him, why are you here with me instead of him? If he can't move on is because he still loves you” Tony said as a tight pressure stayed in his heart, hurt by his own words, even though they were the mere truth. 

 

“We both know that is just not true” She said as she smiled lovingly at the boy. “All I can tell you right now is that something hurts Clay’s heart and is not me”

 

“He thinks that if he falls in love again he might be betraying me” Hannah said with a smile in her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes. “We need to show him how good life can really be. Together” 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls tell me what you think! Will Hannah ever go straight to the ppint or keep on leaving us with more and more doubts?  
> I hope I can upload new chapter soon


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just basically an excuse for me to write about the padilla family supporting Tony and giving him crap about Clay :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here with a new chapter :) Enjoy! By the way, are any of you mexicans or happen to know spanish? I'm mexican myself but I'm just curious about who reads this

_ What the hell is that even supposed to mean? _ Tony thought to himself. It already hurt enough to know that Clay would never be able to love him the way he wanted, he didn't need anyone, (specially not Hannah), to tell him that the boy couldn't even love anymore.  

 

“How I’m I even supposed to help him? This is the type of job for a girlfriend” _ or boyfriend _ . However the boy knew this wasn't the case, so there was no use in even trying. 

 

“I know you have been there for him as a friend, but that really isn't helping”

 

“What do you want me to do then?” Tony asked with an exasperated on in his voice. _ Why couldn't Hannah go straight to the point and tell him wat Clay really needed? _

 

“Well, be something more for him”

 

“I’m already his best friend Hannah, is not like I can do more” 

 

“Yes you can Tony! Is what I've been trying to tell you!”

 

“He doesn't even like me that way!” Tony shouted as his heart clenched at the harsh words. 

 

“Wow Tony, I really didn't think…” Hannah started saying, when she suddenly stopped and looked away. When she looked back she gave him the hardest look he had ever seen in her. “I'm just trying to help Tony, both of you. I sincerely hope you figure it out before it's too late for everyone.”

And just like that she disappeared into the restroom wall, as easily and fast as she had done the first time, leaving Tony alone and with more doubts than ever.  _ What the hell am I even supposed to figure out? _

 

 

  
  


Clay

 

 

The day had gone as slow as always, especially since Tony seemed to be acting super weird, even for him. Clay hadn't really put much thought into the boy's attitude; he knew how hard things could get at Tony's house, the last thing he wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable about it. _ If he wants to talk he’ll come to me.  _

 

Tony and Clay had come up with this rule. They told each other everything.  _ Well, almost everything, _ Clay thought to himself. After the tapes Clay had closed himself up ( not to anyone’s surprise) but thankfully Tony had helped him get through the pain. It still ache to think of her, however he had learned to remember the moments he spend with Hannah, rather than torturing himself with what he could have done better. Now he and Tony opened up about each other’s shit and worked it through together. It was something nice, someone to talk to when he felt like losing it. 

 

The ride back home with Tony wasn't precisely awkward, but he could tell there was something bothering the latino's mind. When they arrived to Clay`s porch he decided to do something about it. 

 

“Tony, you know you can talk to me right?”

 

_ Not about this _ , Tony though, however he felt the low blush that creeped into his cheeks. “I know Clay, don't worry. Seriously it's just some crap going on”

 

“You still up for tonight then?”

 

“Of course, I could use some distraction”

 

“Remember the movie starts at 8, so meet up  at 7:30?”

 

“Sure, I’ll see you there”

 

As Tony drove away Clay got into his house, only to find it empty.  _ Hmm weird _ . One of his parents was usually home by the time he got home from school.  _ They must be at work. _ Well whatever, Clay had tons of homework to do before he left to meet up Tony, so he might as well hurry. 

 

He came into his room and closed the door. _ Finally some privacy. That open door rule is ridiculous. _ As he searched for his history notes he failed to realised the shadow in the corner of his room. It wasn't until said shadow came forward that he finally realised he wasn't alone in his room, but he might as well be, cause this couldn't be happening.  _ No fucking way _

 

 

 

Tony

 

 

He really didn't like lying to Clay, it felt bad knowing the boy was worrying about him, but he couldn't just tell him the reason of his unsteadiness was Hannah Baker making a surprise appearance into the boys restrooms.

 

He arrived home to immediately lock himself up in his room, waiting for Hannah to come back and tell him what the hell was he supposed to do, however she never did not. He lied in his bed for what felt like hours, listening to one of his tapes until one of his brothers called him up for dinner. 

 

“Tony! Get your ass down here! Dinners ready!”

 

“I’m going” He said as he accepted the fact that Hannah wasn't coming back, at least not for a while. 

 

He got to the kitchen to find out his family was already eating. “Tony, ¿Qué estabas haciendo muchacho? Te hemos estado llamando!” Tony’s father said as he passed him his plate. (What were you doing boy? We've been calling you!)

 

Wow. Tony must have really been lost in his thoughts. “ I’m sorry, estaba pensando” (I was thinking)

 

“You alright son? Wanna talk about something after dinner?”

 

_ What was up with everybody wanting him to talk about his feelings and shit? _ Tony could barely stand it anymore. If anyone asked him another time what was wrong he might actually start crying, and it wouldn't be pretty.

 

“Everything is alright dad, and I’m heading out anyways”

 

“¿Ya te mandas solo? Where are you going?” (Are you calling the shots?)

 

“I’ve already told you dad, Clay and I are going to the movies tonight” as the words left his lips Tony knew it hadn't been the best idea to say so in front of his brothers. 

 

“Little Tony already finding himself a new boyfriend?”

 

“Damn Tony! Give Jensen some time”

 

“Are you past the holding hands period? Or are you already doing something more intimate Tony?”

 

“So, this Jensen kid, when are we gonna meet him, you know as your official boyfriend?” Tony’s dad asked, with a mischievous look

 

“Fuck off! Is not like that!”  _ At all _ , Tony thought to himself. “I’ve already told you guys that he is my friend and there is nothing else going on between us”

 

“Hmm, so he isn't ready to come out or what?” Mr. Padilla asked, until suddenly he finally got the hint. “So he doesn't  know you are gay yet?”

 

“DAD! He knows alright? He just isn't gay himself!”

 

“Of course he is gay! Or at least he is something! No one can say no to the Padilla’s charm!” 

 

“Just drop it already”

 

The kitchen filled with silence as they all seemed to realise maybe they had dragged the topic way too much for Tony’s liking. Before he went back to his room to get ready his older brother, Charles, catched him up. 

 

“He may not know it yet, but I do” He started saying, and before Tony could tell him to shut up up he continued. “ Seriously dude! He looks at you like yuo hang the moon and the stars in the sky!”

 

“All I'm saying is you shouldn't give up on him. He has gone through a lot, so don't give up on him, not just yet.”

  
_ As if Tony didn't knew what Clay had gone through, _ however he couldn't help the soft smile and blush that appeared in his cheeks . _ Maybe tonight wouldn't be as bad as it had seemed.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you like it? Please leave as many comments as you like! Srsly reading comments and replying to them is my favorite thing ever!!!! :) :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistery shadow is here to help Clay realize his feelings for Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yassss! I like to think this was a very different and original idea from what I've read in other works so I'm supe proud of it. I really liked the way this chapter turned out! Hope you do as well

Clay

 

 

The shadow in the corner of his room finally came into his sight, leaving him speechless.  _ There is no way this is happening. _ Clay was confused as fuck. He used to get the hallucinations and nightmares for a while after the tapes, however this time it felt a hundred times more real. He felt like he could almost touch him. 

 

With the same hairstyle, clothes and smile Clay had last seen him, Jeff Atkins stepped into the light, waiting for some sort of reaction from the boy. 

 

“Hey man! Long time no see!” Jeff said as he opened his arms to welcome Clay into a big hug he was waiting to give him since he had seen him so broken at Jessica’s party, however Clay was having none of it. 

 

_ What the actual fuck. _ Clay stood in the middle of the room, mouth hanging open.  _ This couldn't- no, this shouldn't be happening!  _ For all the boy knew Jeff Atkins was pretty much dead.  _ Hell, I even found him myself _ . Clay thought as he remembered the horrible experience from that night.

 

Jeff seemed to realize what was happening inside Clay's mind and started talking again. “Okay enough about you memories and your twisted mind...Clay, you know I'm an actual person? Well, I mean- sort of since I’m dead and all of that but- “ The boy stopped himself and sighed before continuing. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m here, for real. I’m not a figment of your imagination or whatever shit you are thinking”

 

“You are definitely a part of my imagination! There is no way you would come here!”

 

“What do you even mean? I got nowhere else to go really”

 

“You have your parents! And even if you didn't; you are a ghost! You could go to Europe or some other exotic place!”

 

Clay was taking everything surprisingly well.  _ He must be another hallucination _ . _ He has to be. _ The boy allowed himself to enjoy some of the time that had been taken away from Jeff.  _ Dreaming can only do so much harm and I’m already fucked up so whatever. _

 

“I think that visiting my parents would only open old wounds, instead of actually helping them and I have some sort of unfinished business with you Clay”

 

_ This is it. I’m going to get murder by one of my bestfriends. Just as I thought life couldn't get more shitty. _

 

“I know it's my fault Jeff. You were always there for me, and the one time you needed me I left! You are dead because of me! So whatever you have to do, just.. Please do it quickly” Clay said as he closed his eyes. He refused to die feeling scared. He tried to think about those things that made him the most happy. _ A strong triple americano in the morning, late night conversations while watching the moon and the stars, my bike, Tony…. Shit. I won't even get to say goodbye to Tony.  _ A sudden wave of sadness washed him. As he feel tears starting to form in his eyes he heard a snort followed by a sterical laugh. 

 

“Wait so- you legit- you thought- Oh my God Clay! I can't wIth you and your dramatic ass!” Jeff said as he laughed straight in his face. “You seriously thought I was here to kill you and get some sort of revenge?

 

_ Things just keep getting weirder. What was even Jef laughing about? _

 

“You just said so yourself!”

 

“... No… I said I had unfinished business”

 

“That's basically the same! You hate me!”

 

“I don't Clay” Jeff said as he looked over to his friend. “ The last thing I did when alive was trying to help you, and since I failed in that… Well, I just guess I’m here to help you once again”

 

“Help me how exactly?”

 

“Well man, you know…”

 

“I don't know Jeff! Just get to the point already”

 

“Your love life sucks just as much as it used to when I was still alive, if not more” Jeff finally admitted, looking at him with what Clay refused to take as a pity look.

 

“Seriously Jeff? There are far more important things in life than getting a girlfriend”  _ Such as my mental health. Which will be not great after this.  _

 

“You could get a boyfriend y’know? I won't judge”Jeff said as he showed his hands up in what was supposed to be a innocent pose. _ Really Atkins? _

 

Cut by the look Clay had given him he continued speaking, leaving his humorous tone aside. “I know there are, but you need someone to love, and someone to love you with the passion, respect and admiration that you deserve after all the shit you´ve been though”

 

Clay fel a tight pressure in his throat and chest after Jeff´s words. This boy really didn't deserve what had happened to him. In both life and death he was the same caring and loving boy he had always been. 

 

“So you’re basically here to be, once again, my wingman?” Clay looked at him with the most shit-eating grin he had seen. “You really can't stay away from me, can you?

 

“Fuck off! It is a totally valid unfinished business! I’m sorry man but I didn't make the rules”

 

Clay sighed as he looked over to the boy. “Once a wingman, always a wingman”.

 

  
  


\---

  
  


 

Tony was getting ready for his “not a date, seriously stop it dad!” with Clay, however, the more time it passed the more he felt like throwing up. Suddenly none of his shirts were good enough, and no matter what he did to his hair it didn't seem to be perfectly in place as it usually was. Tony was a nervous wreck and there was no point in denying it. As he looked to himself in the mirror he realized that was probably the best he could get. He grabbed his usual leather jacket, wallet, keys and finally his phone,sending Clay a quick text before heading out.

 

**Tony:** Hey! I'm heading out right now. Meet at the usual spot?

 

**Clay** : Sure, mee up there :)

 

“Seriously Jensen? A smiley face? No wonder you guys haven't even kissed” Jeff said as he looked at Clay's’ phones over his shoulder. “Okay so tonight it's the night we put in practice everything I’ve teached you, and don't worry, my flirting skills work just as good on boys as it does on girls”

 

“This is getting ridiculous! You can't just pair me off with whoever you want to complete your last death wish of saving me from my pathetic existence. You won't pair me with anyone! Especially not with Tony”

 

“Dude are you crazy? What is wrong with Tony?” The puzzled look on Jeff’s face would have been funny if he hadn't been too busy trying to figure out why Jeff would even say something like that.

 

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with him, but not just because he is gay you can go and assume he is into me”  _ At least not the same way I’m into him _ , Clay thought. 

 

“That's not the point” Trust me, I _ know _ that he is into you!” Jeff said, only to continue shortly after, before getting interrupted. “But most importantly, I know how much Into him you are”

 

If Clay could look at himself in that moment he would have seen a very blushed Clay Jensen, with his mouth hanging open and the anxiety starting to surround him.

 

Before he could deny it Jeff continued. “Don't even try to deny it Clay. I’ve seen the way you look at him”

 

“It's just that… he has helped me so much. It wouldn't be fair of me to drag him into my mess”Clay said with a defeated tone in his voice. 

 

“That's not your call” 

 

Those words cut into Clay’s heart as a million blades would have. He knew that wasn't his call, but he’d rather have Tony’s friendship rather than not have Tony at all. 

 

“What should I do then? Just go straight to him and kiss him? Or even better, how about I tell him already that I think I might love him?” Clay pronounced this last words as he realized that  _ yes. I do love Tony, but I just can't be with him. I’ll never be good enough for him.  _

 

“We should start with something a little bit easier” Jeff said, noticing the way the light had abandoned Clay’s eyes, with a hurt look replacing it. “How about we start with you stepping out of those old jeans and hoodie and actually trying to impress him?

 

“You should know this is my best outfit”

  
“I bet we can do better”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm basically a sucker for Jeff so I thought, Why not just drag him into the fun as well? Please let me know what you think about it in the comments


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Clay finally go in that anticipated date with a little encouraging from their clony shipping guardian angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back! I was on a little holiday, but I'm back with a new chapter for y'all! Hope you like it!

Even though Jeff’s words had encouraged him he couldn’t shake the feeling that something might go terribly wrong. _What if Tony doesn't even like me that way?Is this a date? Maybe?_

_It would be pretty embarrassing to interpret this as something more than a friendly meeting,Tony has done so much for me already, I really don't want to push this._

 

It didn't make any sense. Just a couple hours ago he was convinced he was just going with his best friend to the movies, however the sighting of Jeff had changed things up, whether it was for good or wrong, Clay wasn’t sure.

 

Jeff had made him change his outfit 3 times, and when he decided that a semiformal button up and his best jeans were good enough he examined the boy, finishing the last details.

 

“This should work” Jeff said as he looked at Clay up and down.

 

There really wasn’t anything special on him. Clay looked exactly the same as he did in the occasional  parties he attended. His hair had a little bit of product, but nowhere near the amount Tony or even Jeff used. He had a light cologne and some nice looking sneakers, however he was still him, no big makeover, no big revelation. Same old Clay, _just smelling slightly better,_ the boy thought to himself.

 

“I really don't see how this changes anything” Clay said as he sighed. The boy was getting impatient. He was already running late, and Jeff’s “help” wasn’t necessarily useful. “I literally look the same as the last ti-”

 

Clay suddenly stopped in his own words. _As the last time we saw each other. The last time you were alive._ The weight of those unspoken filled the room with a heavy silence neither of them dared to break.

 

“It's not about you looking the same” Jeff finally said, leaving behind the awkward silence and ignoring the boy’s look. “ We already know Tony likes you just the way you are, there is no point in changing, you just have to show some interest as well, show him you care”

 

“I do care” Clay said as he grabbed his phone and wallet, heading out. “ And...we don't know if he likes me”

 

“That's why you’ve got me, I know Clay” Jeff said as a feeling of deja vu rushed through both of them.

 

Once upon a time Clay had heard those exact words from that exact boy, however, not that long ago, Jeff`s heart was still beating, and blood still rushed through his veins. He didn't took his advice ast time, and it cost him not only the boy standing in front of him live’s, but also the happiness and love from Hanna.

Jeff did knew, he alway knew better, and this time Clay would listen.

  


Tony

 

 

It was already 7:50 and the pale boy was nowhere to be seen. He bought some popcorn and soda to share with him as we waited.He was still confused by not only Hannah’s visit and the reasons behind it, but also about his family’s words.As he turned around heading to a seat near the entrance he was surprised by a familiar voice.

 

“So I decided to give you some space for your stubborn head to figure out what I was talking about, but since you’ve got this lost puppy look I figure it did’nt help much”

 

“Jesus Hannah! You seriously need to stop all this random showing up”

 

“I wouldn’t even need to be here if you just stopped refusing to accept the facts”

 

“Which are?”

 

“Okay so first of all, tonight is a date: you are on an actual date with the boy of your dreams, so don't blew it” Hannah said as she grabbed some of the popcorn from Tony’s arms. “And second of all, we should talk about our strategies to approach Clay, we both know that boy can’t take a hint, so you definitely have to make the first move. I was thinking the classic yawning- hand over the shoulder trick, ya know, keep it classic. Thirdly-”

 

“Lemme stop you right there girl. Who says this is a date? You just can’t decide things by yourself and then use me as your puppet!”

 

“I just did, and seriously Tony, don't act like you don't want this to be a date”

 

_Rayos, esta chica sabe lo que hace. Damn, this girl know what she is doing. As much as I want this to be a date I won’t just scare Clay! I just need to keep this casual!_

 

“Seriously Hannah, what makes you think that just because you just said so I will try to turn this into a date? After all, I ‘ve been alone with Clay thousand of times! What makes this one so special?”

 

“Not much really” She said with a suspicious tone as she walked away from him, only to look over to him from the shoulder, leaving her last words behind. “But a little birdy told me he wants this to be a date as well.”

  


\---

 

  


Clay stepped into the cinema 5 minutes before the movie started, looking for Tony until he found him near the cashier, looking sort of pissed and confused. _Great Jensen, this could turn into a first sort of date and you are already screwing it with your awful date etiquette. Well, at least I can blame that on Jeff._

 

Tony, still confused from his last Hannah encounter realized Clay had arrived when the boy was looking right at him trying to get his attention.

 

“Earth to Tony! Hey man, I’m really sorry about the time”

 

“No worries Clay, but we should get inside before the movie starts”

 

Tony really wanted to get away as soon as possible. He really didn't wanted Clay to notice the blush creeping in his cheeks, and he was sure that if he stared at the blue eyed boy any longer things will get really awkward really soon.

 

Clay really did look nice, like they were in a date. He always looked nice, but this time he had left the hideous hoodie behind, and if Tony concentrated enough he was sure he could smell some sort of cologne in Clay. As much as  he didn't felt like sneezing like some sort of dog and making a fool of himself, he did wonder what it would feel to hide his face in the crook of the boy’s neck and smell all of him.

 

_He would smell so delicious. All sort of sweet, salty but beautiful, and most importantly, like mine. We would fit just like pieces of a puzzle that are meant to be together.  He would beg for light kisses as he moaned my name into my ear, leaving both of us hard and grinding-_

 

Tony stopped his own thought before they headed towards dangerous territory. _I haven’t even kissed him_ ! _I need to stop all of this daydreaming before he notices something is off._

  


\---

 

  


As Tony and he walked towards their seats he noticed the boy’s hand hanging beside his side. He wanted so badly to grab it and interlock their fingers. He had such strong, masculine hands from all the working at the garage _. I wonder how they would feel. In my own hands, in my neck, chest, everywhere, touching, tasting, teasing… He would use them to carry us, heading towards his bedroom, kissing, discovering, marking.._

 

If he didn't stopped thinking about hands and _God, oh God those fingers!_ He would end up with a problem down there.

 

When they finally reached their seats both boys were a little nervous, a little excited and a little horny to be quite honest. They couldn't seem to bring up any sort of conversation between each other, as soon as they tried, they stumbled in their own words. Tony decided to give it one last shot before the movie started.

 

“You are looking nicer than usual”

 

“Are you saying I’m not pretty?” Clay said with a teasing tone

 

“I’m not saying that! I’m just used to your hoodie and helmet hair” Tony said with a shrug of shoulders.

 

“Well, someone told me I would look slightly better in these, so I decided to give it a try”

 

“They were right. It suits you” Tony said, feeling brave for the first time in the night. _Compliments are part of a date, right?_

 

“Only my best looks for the best people”

 

“And it only took some extra large popcorn and soda to get you all dressed up”

 

“You'd be surprised what some chocolate would have done”

 

“I definitely should have bought some”

 

“Next time you’ll do”

 

 _Where was all this flirting coming from? Where did Clay even got the guts to bat his eyes and laugh with his most silly look? The least I can do is make Jeff proud,_ he thought as he answered to the next question.

 

“And who are all these important people you talking about”

 

“You. You are important to me”

 

Silence. Silence is all Tony could hear even though he was pretty sure the movie had already started. _Was this Clay’s hint? Flirting even?_

 

“You are important to me as well.”

 

“I know” Clay said before turning towards the screen, positioning himself right beside Tony, with his arm resting next to him, so close he could feel the heat coming from him.

 

Tony did the same, with the promise of a next date and the possibilities of this one burning in his chest. _Well, I might use the yawning technique after all._

  


\---

 

  


“Well, I’ve got to say I’m impressed. Whatever you said to the boy definitely helped! And he looks really nice” Hannah said, as she watched with Jeff from behind as the two lovebirds got closer and closer. “They’re basically cuddling!”

 

“Thanks Hann.Things are looking nice down there”

 

Both teens smiled at each other as they bumped fist. Things did looked nicer than ever.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wont be posting as regularly as I used to fue to my final exams, but i will continue with the history, as long as it takes! Pls leave what you think, and suggestions in the comments :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After date events happen...

The movie had gone pretty well if you asked Tony. They had hang out together  _ (like they always did) _ had fun, _ (just like always) _ seen a good movie and ate some popcorn  _ (the same as a week ago, and the week before that… )  _ Everything really went the same as always.  _ Well, what did you expect anyways? _ It's true that after the initial flirting with Clay  _ (sort of) _ Tony had thought it will lead somewhere else, maybe some occasional brushes here and there, but after the boy positioned himself next to him he didn't touched or moved nowhere near him. It was almost like he was absorbed by the movie.

 

Tony had begun wondering if maybe it had all gotten a little too much for Clay, after all the Hannah thing was still pretty recent. He was kind of worried through the movie, however, as much as the other boy wasn't looking in hs direction he didn't seem stiff or uncomfortable like he usually did when he didn't like a certain situation. After half the movie went by, Tony allowed himself to relax and enjoy the rest of the movie, at least until he could talk freely to Clay again, without anybody telling them to shut up. 

 

After the movie was finally over Clay finally looked at Tony, making him let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. Nothing seemed to change, before the boy realised it they were already out of the room. As they were heading out Clay made his usual comments about what he liked or didn't. 

 

“Like seriously who was the genius that thought zombies couldn’t smell? How else were they supposed to find us? Everybody know the can’t see a damn thing!”

 

_ This boy really gets into movies _ , Tony though, as he felt like rolling his eyes lovingly.

 

“I mean I don't know Clay, maybe this zombies really couldn’t smell” he said, only to watch the boys reaction. 

 

“Well you are obviously just as clueless as those movie writers because everybody who knows the slightest about zombies knows their main characteristic is their great smelling abilities”

 

They continued discussing whether or not zombies could smell and  _ “Tony seriously how dare those directors say zombies got no hair! They were once humans not alligators!”  _ until they finally reached Tony’s car. Clay had arrived walking, so it was only fair Tony would give him a ride home. 

 

As the both climbed their seats each one lost himself in thoughts about tonight. While Tony was still sort of confused about the whole situation, Clay was nervous. He was trying to keep it chill and casual, however he knew that he took a long shot. Like, for real, what was he even thinking when he said all those things to Tony? Thank God the movie had started in that precise moment, otherwise the boy would have recovered all his common sense and probably abandoned the room and go hide under a rock. 

 

However, as cheesy and embarrassing as the situation could have been, he didn't regret any of it. Whether it moved something inside of Tony or didn't, (it did) Clay was happy he said it. Tony really was an important part of Clay’s life, probably the most important, and he deserved to know.  _ At least I’m making some progress here.  _

 

Both men felt a little more relaxed now, however this thoughts faded when they both realised they were almost at Clay’s house. Usually the pale boy would just say goodbye and head straight home, however this time it felt different. It had to be different. 

 

_ What I'm I supposed to do? Should I open the door for him? Walk him to his house? Should I even try a move? Or is it too soon? _ Tony was driving himself crazy. Sometimes he could read into Clay’s thoughts very easily, however this time as much as he could feel the engines of the brain next to him working, he couldn't figure out what was worrying the boy.  _ Does he feels the same way as I do right now? _

 

_ Do I act the same as always? I mean, if I act different he may think I’m just acting weird, but what if he is expecting me to lead him into something and feels disappointed when I don't? Seriously Jeff never mentioned what to do after a date… He probably never thought I’d make it this far.  _

 

Tonny parked his car a couple houses away from Clay’s, so his intentions wouldn't be as obvious, but he could still walk the boy home with a reason. Clay stepped out of the car quickly as Tony did the same, walking side by side. 

 

“You know… I had a lot of fun tonight” Tony said, as he looked at Clay from the corner of his eyes. 

 

“Me too, I’m glad we decided to go” Clay said as a warm feeling spread to his chest. 

 

“You are? I thought you hated the movie, even though for those of us who aren’t as picky as you with zombie’s characteristics, the movie was okay” Tony said with a teasing voice. 

 

“Every movie is better if we watch it together” Clay said before he could stop the words coming out of his mouth. Silence filled them both as they finally reached Clay´s porch. 

_ Well, I’ve been waiting for a leading. This is as inviting as Clay is going to get, so we might as well do it.  _

 

Both boys were standing in front of each other, looking into the other’s eyes. Breaths going slow, hearts going faster and faster. They’ve been waiting for some sort of moment and it seemed like this was it. 

 

Tony took a step closer to Clay, suddenly being aware of their heights difference. The boy was much taller, so much he had to look up at him. As they looked at each other they had started to lean towards the other as well, completely aware of what they were doing but unable to stop it, not that either of them wanted to. 

 

Clay had leaned downwards, trying to reach Tony. Tony could smell the butter from Clay’s lips, but it didn't matter. He wanted nothing more than to kiss and taste the boy’s mouth, to take and claim, but most importantly to love. 

 

Neither of them seemed to be able to close the space between them even though both boys were desperately craving the other's touch. 

 

_ You’ve always waited or the other person to make the move Clay. You want it, you go get it.  _ Clay was determined as he decided to finally close that space, however just as he leaned closer into the latino, the boy moved his face, choosing to hug him instead. 

 

Clay found himself standing in front of his porch, with Tony hiding his face in the crock of his face.  It felt like he had been punched in the gut.Tony had just rejected him. He didn't get it. He liked this, however they had been so close to kissing that it didn't make any sense to be hugging instead.  _ Maybe Jeff was wrong. Maybe Tony didn't want this.  _

 

This was like going backwards. Here he was, so close to Tony, but unable to ask or do any more.

 

He felt like hot burning tears were filling his eyes.  _ Fuck. He had really hoped Jeff would be right. That somewhere, somehow there was some sort of future waiting for him, where he and Tony could be happy together and leave all the drama that came with the tapes behind.  _

 

However that is not his destiny. He didn't deserve it and he never would. He refused to let those tears escape, so instead he hugged Tony back, trying to hold onto the boy he had hopped would become his. 

 

Finally after what felt like hours, Tony let go, stepping back. 

 

“You are right, a movie with a friend is always better” Tony said as he looked to the floor like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.

 

_ Friend. Just great. Well if he didn't make things clear by rejecting me a couple of minutes ago now he just did. He doesn't want anything with me, we’re just friends. Nothing less, but unfortunately nothing more _ .

 

Clay felt his eyes starting to burn again, so before he embarrassed himself once again he turned around before the boy could see his tears. 

 

“Mmm you know Tony, it's actually getting quite late, so I’m just going to get inside, see you later” He rushed into his home, closing the door behind him as quickly as possible. He locked the door and ran upstairs to his room. The last thing he needed was his parents asking what happened. 

 

He closed his bedroom door as he crumbled behind it. _ God he felt so stupid. Obviously Tony didn’t want him like that. I mean, who could? He was the pale, skinny, defenseless and broken boy who was just his friend, best friend, and now he had probably ruined this as well. He felt like dying when an anxiety attack rushed through him.  _

 

_ What if Tony didn't want him near at all? How could he survive without him? He couldnt. _ Tony was his anchor to the world, as unhealthy as it might sound. He couldn't make it through without him. Life wouldn't be the same without his best friend by his side, someone he could joke, cry and laugh with. Air was leaving his lungs and he started to feel his head dizzy…  _ Usually he would call Tony for help in this sort of attack, fut he couldn't now, could he? _

 

When he was sure he would pass out he felt a pair of strong hands grab him be the shoulders. 

 

“Clay… Clay breath!”

 

“Clay please calm down, breath with me!”

 

“Clay relax, I need you to breath”

 

He tried to breath slower and steadier, and as his vision cleared he understood who those hands belonged to. Jeff was standing in front of him, looking really worried about Clay.

 

“I’m okay, don't worry Jeff”

 

“Jesus Clay! What happened? you really worried me!”

 

“I’m sorry, I just got a little attack, it's common”

 

“No, no, your attacks are way calmer than this. I wanna know what happened”

 

Clay lowered his sight, refusing to look at the boy. He didn't feel like explaining how the boy his dreams had just rejected him a couple minutes ago. 

 

As Jeff didn't got an answer he proceed talking. “ Did something wrong happened with Tony?” Jeff waited a moment for any sort of confirmation before continuing. “Did he do anything to you? Something you didn't want him to?”

 

“Oh my God Jeff, no! He obviously didn't! Tony wouldn't do anything like that!”

 

“Then what happened?”

 

It was better to just tell the truth and get it over with. He didn't want Jeff thinking Tony had abused him in any sort of way, because he hadn’t. In fact, Clay should be considered the abuser, since he was the one who had pushed himself into Tony. 

 

“He just- He isn't into me”

 

“Are you back at it again? I already told you! Tony is really into you!”

 

“Well he didn't seem into me when just a couple minutes ago he rejected the kiss I try to give him!”

 

Jeff had his mouth hanging open, finally left without words. When he processed what Clay had just said he continued. “You tried to kiss him?”

 

“Seriously? Is that what you choose to pay attention to? HE REJECTED ME JEFF! WAKE UP!”

 

Jeff had a lost look in his face, he seemed so confused. “But things seemed so good, why would he even reject you?

 

“I’ve already told you!”

 

“I refuse to believe that”

 

“Jeff- honestly I’m just really tired. I’m just gonna lay in bed and try to get some sleep. I don't wanna talk about it, so please drop it” Clay said with a defeated tone as he let his shoulders fall. 

 

Clay sounded so hurt and broken he couldn't bring himself to continue with the topic, choosing instead to hug the boy, petting his hair. 

 

“Whatever happened… We’ll work it out okay?”

 

He didn't hear any response, but the sound of Clay’s sobbing and the tears in his shoulder were enough of an answer.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

Tony drove home with a bittersweet taste in his mouth. He had been so close, so near his boy. If he only had closed that space between them they would have probably kissed. But he couldn't bring himself to do it, not even after Clay took the initiative. 

 

He parked his car and headed inside, only to find that all his family was already asleep, or so it seemed, since all the lights were turned off. He headed upstairs into his room. As he removed his clothes and laid in his bed he kept playing the night’s events in his head. 

 

He had the boy so closed to him. His cologne, the butter, his own smell and the boy’s mixed in so perfectly, creating the most delicious fragrance he had ever smell. However he couldn't smell it for long. He just had to remove himself from that situation or he wouldn't be able to control himself any longer. 

  
_ Clay hadn’t known what he wanted. He was still hurt and confused from all those past events. _ Tony couldn’t bring himself to take advantage of the boy that way. Not even for that tiny part of himself that told him the boy might enjoy it.  _ Clay deserved way better. And anyways, the boy was probably just experimenting. Tony didn't need to fall any further for the blue eyed boy if he was just trying new experiences _ , and with this last thought, he let sleep take him away from the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys I'm actually in finals, so would you prefer long chapter of 3000 and up words every now and then or for me to keep up with the usual but a little faster, specially during weekends...
> 
> Let me know your answer and what you thought of the chapter :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay and Tony meetup after that almost kiss. As always with a little help of their respective wingmans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After almost a month I'm back! Sorry about that, but I'm finally done with school so the uploading will be more frequent.

On Saturdays Clay usually came down to the garage to do some homework while Tony worked on his car, however he didn't felt like facing the boy yet. Yesterday's event had him feeling like crap for most of the morning, but after he took a long shower and a big breakfast he felt much better. 

 

Tony didn't like him, so what? The possibility of being with him had never crossed his mind before Jeff even mentioned it, so he could get it out of his head as easy as he got it in.  He wouldn't let this small inconvenience ruin his friendship with the boy. 

 

“You can't just pretend yesterday never happened”, Jeff said, appearing from outta nowhere. 

 

“I’m not”, Clay said “It happened, it sucked, and now is over. We can all go back to normal now”

 

“Avoiding Tony won't help either” the boy continued as he ignored Clay

 

“I’m not avoiding him! I just want to be alone for a change”

 

“As if” Jeff said as he rolled his eyes. 

 

He could tell Clay didn't want to meet up with Tony, so he decided to take the matter into his hands. 

Jeff then pretended to be gone while Clay left his phone charging downstairs as he headed to his room. Jeff took the cellphone before the boy went back to get it. He looked through Clay’s conversations until he found Tony’s.

 

If they couldn't man up enough to meet each other then Jeff would do the hard work.

 

Hey! Meet up at my place for hw?:). Send. It was done

 

 

Tony

 

 

He woke up as a message popped in his phone. It was from Clay. He didn't expect to hear from the boy after what had happened, especially not this fast, but hey, he wasn't complaining. A sad smile crossed his face as he read the message.  _ Maybe Clay wasn’t really trying to kiss him yesterday.  _

 

“Better reply quickly, we don't want prince charming to think you are avoiding him” Hannah said as she took a sit next to him. “Oh wait, he already thinks that, since you rejected him yesterday”

 

As she pronounced this words she gave Tony an angry look. But hey, it was none of her business! 

 

“Good morning to you too”

 

“There’s nothing good in them, except perhaps that Clay didn't take your hug as something bad, he probably thought that was your move”

 

“He isn't that clueless”, Tony said as he rolled his eyes. “He just realized his mistake, and how we are better off with a friendship rather than a relationship. 

 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, although it doesn't seem like you got much of that last nigh”

 

“I’ll just ignore you and get ready”

 

“So you're actually going?”

 

“Not going will only make things worse” he said as he hit send.. 

 

Be there in 20.

 

 

\---

 

 

Tony parked outside Clay’s and headed towards the door. Knocking would probably be better as Clay tended to leave his phone lying around. 

 

He supposed the Jensen’s weren't home after knocking for the 3rd time and getting no answer, however as he was leaving he heard someone walking down the stairs.

 

Clay opened the door looking confused, followed by a shocked face. He almost seemed like he wasn't expecting him at all. 

 

“Tony? Why are you here?”Clay said as he locked the door behind him.

 

“I’m here for homework remember? You texted me like 20 minutes ago?”

 

“Wha-I didn't…”  _ Fuck Clay, or more like fuck Jeff, since he was probably who send that text. _ ”Oh right, I remember now. Mmmm well, come in”

 

Tony wasn't even next to the boy yet and he could already feel the anxiety curling up in his stomach. 

 

“You busy? If you want I can  leave”

 

_ Yes. I want you to leave, cause yesterday’s humiliation is enough for a lifetime. But I can't say that _ . “No no, come on! We need to get that homework done”

 

“If you say so” Tony said as he stepped into the house and headed to Clay’s room.

 

 

 

\---

 

 

 

They worked for what felt like hours, but were probably a couple minutes in the most awkward silence they been in. They usually got along pretty good, however today neither of them knew what to say. 

 

_ I should fix this. I started it so it's my duty to clear the air between us. But I don't know how to, would it really be that bad if I just leave things as they are? _

 

_ Yes it would,  _ a little voice in his head said _. What would you even do without Tony? He is your bestfriend. A life without Tony would be unbearable  _

 

Clay cleared his throat, trying to calm himself. “Tony, I’m really sorry about yesterday.” When the older boy looked into his he had to lower his sight. If he looked into the latino’s eyes he might start crying again. 

 

“I know I overstep our boundaries as friends, and you probably felt like I was taking advantage and I’m sorry, but it won't happen again, I promise”

 

_ ¿Que demonios? Did Clay really thought he felt attacked or something? That kiss was everything he had waited for so long, however he didn't felt as if Clay had wanted it.  _

 

“I honestly don't know what you are talking about dude”

 

“So you are telling me you don't remember when I tried to kiss you? Or how you decided to hug me instead?” Clay said with a blank expression.  _ Was Tony really that clueless or was he just playing dumb? _

 

“That was you trying to kiss me?”

 

“Well now you’re just making fun of me”

 

“I’m not! But I honestly never thought about it!”  _ Lies, lies and more lies. He had thought about it hundreds of times, in many different situations, many like last night’s _ . 

 

“Why not? Am I not good enough or something?” Clay was started to feel angry at Tony already.  _ Was he not dating material? Was Ryan really a better boyfriend than he could be? _

 

“Oky Clay you’re talking crazy”

 

“What's crazy about wanting to kiss you?”

 

“Fos starters the fact that you like girls! Just a couple weeks ago I saw you eyeing that redhed at the mall!” Both boys had started shouting at each other.

 

“Well, can't I like both?”

 

This last statement left Tony speechless. After a couple seconds he finally answered. 

 

“Of course you can, but Clay, I’m your friend”

 

Clay had had enough. “I don't want to be friends with you” He took a step closer to the latino. “I want to hold your hand, hold you, spend all my time with you and laugh and stupid things together”

 

“We do that already!”

 

“But I want to do it in public! I want everybody to know how much I care about you! And I want to kiss you. No matter how much highschool sucks, together it would be the best thing!”

 

“That's the problem Clay! This is you being curious, wanting to try new things!! I'm done with the experimenting. I know what I want. I want to hold you every night. I want to be with you and kiss you. But what I want the most is to be the rest of my life with you, because I love you”

 

“And god I want to fuck you Clay so bad! I want to make you whimper and cry my name as you beg for me! I want to taste and kiss all of you and make you feel how much i need you! But I can't and I won't because you haven't even kissed a boy yet, you might find out you don't even like it the moment you do”

 

“If you really love me the kiss me. Show me how good we can be together”

 

“Clay I want serious, I’m all in”

 

“So am I”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BI CLAY JENSEN HELL YES! Finally this stubborn boys admitting their feelings. What will happen next?

**Author's Note:**

> So thats that. Lemme know what you think on the comments and my tumblr:ManyFandomsToHandle


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